sometimes i honestly think i wish ..... [edited. a friend, wiser than i, pointed out things i needed to consider about posting. -2/24/09]
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
at least he's somewhere he can't get to us... not that he's tried real hard..
i walked out of the movie theater and said good-bye to my friends. i started the car and waiting for the engine to warm, picked up my cell to check for messages. fourteen?! what on earth? i punch the button for voicemail and start to listen. every message is the same, though each voice is different... "did you see the six o'clock news?" "angie, you need to turn on news channel 5." "GIRL. have you seen this?" finally, one with some info: "hey, girl, it's mary. i just saw the news and i thought if you'd seen it, you might need someone to talk to. and if not, you might need to know. apparently, jon's been arrested for fraud and some sort of larceny at the car lot. check out channel 4 news and call me." well, f*@%. not that i care a whit that he's incarcerated. but this just adds to the nonsense that i don't need. how could i have been snowed for so long by him? and why, oh why, did i let him talk me into giving avery his last name?
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That was a horrible thing you just said.
ReplyDeletewell, sometimes we say things we don't neccessarily actually mean to express a feeling that we're having a hard time articulating. or - maybe just i do that. i don't actually want really bad things to happen to him. i just want him to go far, far away from my little girl.
ReplyDeleteYou have to be careful what you put in writing for others to see, for many reasons. I learned that the hard way. You can't control what happens to your words after you print them. The effect that he has on you and others is bad, and it hurts. I have personal experience with that. I assure you that the life he's living is much, much worse than yours. When thinking about him, when you focus on misery, focus on his.
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