not very well cut out for this

i have been feeling lately like i'm not a very good mom.  my mother and sister have been telling me this for years, so it was eventually bound to sink in, sooner or later... 

    my patience is a short leash at best, my interest is better described as disinterest, i'm a terrible cook and this house is always a mess, i'm still terribly selfish and absorbed in my own life, i'm distracted, and i don't like to share ..

i hate self-help books, but maybe i should pick up something on parenting... or if there's a class out there.  it's not like they make you pass a test before you can pro-create (although, i would be a LOUDLY vocal advocate for this), and i'm not good at it...   so how do you learn to be good at it if it isn't something that comes naturally to you?