how much grief, sorrow, sadness and pain can one family be expected to endure? a couple of years ago, the middle son of this particular family was discharged from the military after loosing a leg during the conflict in iraq. this past friday night, another child from the same family had her life stolen by a drunk driver. 24-years-old and an absolutely doting mother of two very young children who have spent the last five days in the ICU recovering from the same accident. two small children with an absent father who have now lost their mommy and will be raised by their grandparents. wonderful people, leave no doubt, but this incomprehensible tragedy will leave them shaken, missing something from the core of their beings that can never be replaced.
it's absolutely heart-wrenching, nearly unbearable for those of us on the fringes. i can't imagine the numb, aching emptiness that must be encompassing those at the center of this family.
it makes you feel so very helpless when you have to acknowledge that there is nothing, nothing, that you can say or do to help. nothing will ever make things ok for them again. this is just too much to bear.
People often mix up "helping" with "fixing". You can help. You can't fix.
ReplyDeleteI, personally, feel a lot better after coming to the understanding that I have no real control. I have influence, but no control. That's just in time, too, with a daughter on the way. Also, I'm certain that that same understanding is what allowed me to finally marry Jessica, so I hope she appreciates it, also.
Also, we are not helpless, and we are not hopeless. Actually, that's the area where we do have some control. We spend all morning or night in the gym working on our bodies, twisting, pushing, and molding ourselves into something for other people to look at and admire, but spend so little time twisting, pushing, and molding our outlook on the world.